ARE WE THERE YET?

They say what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger, and I think that’s possible…eventually. But they don’t talk about the ass-whippin’ that “doesn’t kill you” in the first place, do they? They don’t talk about what it cost you or what it took to recover. They don’t talk about how it changed you or the scars or the collateral damage it left behind. They don’t talk about the humiliation you felt when it kicked you one last time and left you lying there, exhausted.

Right now, I’m angry and confused. For the first time in my life, I’ve taken a few hits and not given up on my faith in a loving God whom I still believe has a good plan for my life. And I think that’s a big part of my anger and confusion. I don’t understand why I seem to keep getting knocked down.

Let me explain myself first. I know that other people have problems.  I know that it could be worse. I don’t ask why me because I know the answer is why not me. What I want you to understand is that what I survived almost six years ago was statistically unlikely to survive. But I did. And recently, I suffered an injury that is statistically unlikely to happen. Both began simply. Both have changed me significantly. And I have no doubt that I’ve been firmly in God’s hands through it all.

cs-lewis-quote-were-not-necessarily-doubting-that-god-will-do-theI guess what I really want to know is, “Are we there yet?”

I’m tired of healing, recovering, being told there are no explanations.

I feel like God’s has been very persistent in making sure the only answer to any of my questions is him and him alone. But what scares me is this: If what I’ve gone through hasn’t gotten me where God wants me to be, how bad does it to be to get me there?

 

9 thoughts on “ARE WE THERE YET?

  1. Good evening, LaRonda, I am so sorry to hear about the painful trial you are going through right now. Now I understand why I had a nudge from the Holy Spirit to visit your blog tonight. I am saying a prayer right now for you, for your strengthening, comfort, and encouragement, that He would infuse your inner being with His gentle love and lift you up. You are so very precious to Him! I love you.

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  2. I have no idea what this new low may be, but I do want you to know I hear you. I hope, for your sake, that God is finished teaching this particular lesson. Just long enough for you to recoup a little, anyway! But we booth know that He may not be….as Mother Theresa wrote “I wish He didn’t trust me so much.” God must trust you a whole whale of a lot. All my love.

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    1. Thank you. And, yes, it scares me a bit to ponder what he has planned for me and my family for me to need this much pruning! Or as I just heard Joyce Meyer describe as “shaking loose” all the stuff I no longer need. Though it would be nice to have a shoulder that wasn’t permanently dislocated! 😉

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  3. I was just talking to my family about this yesterday! When you’re taking all these hits discouragement comes easy. It’s not about how bad someone else has it because your situation is bad now…can’t be worried about what someone else got going on 🤷🏾‍♀️

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